Maintaining a Positive Self Image

By Orly A. Katz, LCPC

Many of us enjoy using social web sites such as Facebook to stay in touch with family and friends or get acquainted with new ones. But for some avid users, Facebook also brings frustration and annoyance

“I don't want to see anymore engagement ring pictures posted.”

“She is oh so perfect, I can never measure up.”

“They are going on all those trips and having fun and I am stuck.”

These reactions and similar ones often increase stress and elevate anxiety. Often, they have negative impact and provoke uncomfortable feelings.

You might feel that others are more successful, and develop an obsession with the online details of their lives. You might be jealous of others' accomplishments and dismiss or minimize yours. You might have unrealistic judgment of importance by reading others' comments or counting number of likings.

This might even lead to developing physical reactions such as tension, rapid heart rate and headaches.

At times, you might become aware of such reactions and feel you need to change your attitude in order to protect yourself and be at peace with yourself.

So what are the benefits of taking actions to change these negative feelings?

You take charge and feel responsible and in control of your destiny and feelings
You feel accomplished and proud
You feel important and not judged
You feel positive and don't react to others' actions
You learn to love and appreciate yourself
You will practice setting boundaries and protecting self
You will develop a better more substantial, real support network

Here are five simple steps you can take to change your approach and gain these benefits

Assess triggers Check comments, likings that in the past few months triggered discomfort or painful emotions. Talk with supportive family and friends about your feeling, assess your attitude. On a scale of 1-10 assess your level of feelings.
Develop a plan Weigh options, pros and cons and strategies of change.
Act on your plan Hide provocative, inflammatory comments, block intentional hurting comments, and take a break from chatting or stay away from FB for a decided time.
Evaluate your success Take a moment to look back at the level of your discomfort on same scale.
Repeat the process every few months

Remember to always treat and protect yourself as if you are treating and protecting the most precious person in your life, your child, your significant other, family member or dear friend.