Good Girl Blues

By Francesca Richardson, PhD, LCSW-C

Inner Potential

. http://www.innerpotential.com/

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Good Girl Blues

“I am successful, but not with my weight”: Many female clients struggle with compulsive eating and weight issues. While other things in their lives may be going well, they struggle with binge eating and overeating. This gap between what they are doing well and what they are not can be puzzling.

“I care for others, but not myself”: Young girls and women are socialized to care for and protect others. A part of this socialization may the non-verbal instructions from family members and others to internalize rather than to express feelings such as anger and unhappiness. This does not leave much room for self-expression or expression of uncomfortable and negative feelings. These feelings are then expressed towards themselves in negative ways, rather than outwards towards others.

“I am a good person, why do I feel bad?”: Many women reach their 20s and 30s and later having learned to self-soothe their unexpressed and unverbalized feelings using food. They are “good girls” having always done what was expected. They are puzzled why they among their friends are unable to manage their eating behavior and weight. They may hide food, or hide their problematic eating behavior, and keep an outward appearance that everything is going well.

“Is self-care selfish?” Many people believe that focusing on themselves and their own needs is selfish. It can take some work to re-learn that self-care is not selfish, rather, a focus on self-care is essential for well-being. Is this you? Therapy can help. Individual therapy and group programs using hypnosis can be amazingly helpful to learn positive self-care and healthy eating and weight release.