Finding Joy, Creating Happiness

By David Trautmann, LCSW

It’s easy to be happy in good times, when things are going well. But even then, we quickly get bored or want something new and more, the next thrill. That kind of happiness doesn’t last, and depends on externals. Inevitably, life presents us with difficulties, hardship, and challenges. Joy fades. That’s when happiness becomes a precious and rare commodity. But it’s also when happiness is needed most.

Joy lights our fire and happiness gives us wings, enabling us to do most anything. But too often, we let trouble discourage us, which, prolonged, turns into depression, like being in a hole whose walls crumble around us as we try to dig ourselves out, leaving us stuck and trapped.

Few people realize we trap ourselves by the way we are thinking. Or that, just as surely as our circumstances can make us unhappy, we have the power to rise above them by doing things that inevitably make us happy. Did you know we can find and create our happiness under any circumstances? This is a valuable skill that can be learned. It involves:

Finding the humor, ridiculousness, absurdity and irony in things and having a good laugh.
Pausing to breathe – slowly, deeply and long.
Accepting and embracing whatever challenges life sends our way – instead of fighting them.
Finding the hidden blessings and benefits.
Learning the lessons, recognizing the higher reasons and purpose for things.
Detaching from ego and getting a bigger perspective.
Having empathy. Walking in the other person’s shoes.
Being happy for others, and taking pleasure in them.
Finding companionship. Talking with a confidant.
Doing something for someone else.
Showing kindness. Being a friend. Learning to love.
Seeking answers. Solving a problem. Striving toward a goal
Taking a walk. Getting out into nature.
Having a conversation with your Creator. Listening and watching for the answer
Taking time to relax. Getting some sleep.
Noticing what’s to appreciate and be grateful for. Finding the good.

This isn’t rocket science. It sounds easy, yet we rarely think to do these things or appreciate what powerful remedies these are.

Being grateful for difficulty. Knowing we couldn’t and wouldn’t develop new skills without it.
Dreaming a better world. Making a plan. Carrying it out.
Working with a therapist or other wise person who can help us learn to do this.
Saying a prayer, listening for the answer and noticing the results.
Reading something inspiring.
Making music, creating art, taking care of someone, forgiving a wrong…

Don’t you feel better already?