Are You Living the Life You Want?

By Mary Baker, LCPC

Sol Purpose Life & Empowerment Counseling & Coaching

More Mental Health Articles

Are You Living the Life You Want?

The New Year often causes us to take pause and take stock. The holidays are over, and those things we want to change in our life that have been gnawing at us are staring us right in the face. Perhaps you too, have been waiting for more time, more money, and more energy before you truly tackled change. In reality, it simply can come down to being more assertive.
Being assertive means first being honest with yourself about what you truly want and need. What are your priorities? What would make your life more meaningful? The more challenging part comes next making it happen. Frequently when we imagine moving forward, all we can see are the supposed obstacles in our way, with the most common ones being time, money, and other peoples possible reactions to what we are about to do.
Letting go of obstacles may not seem easy at first. However, the biggest obstacle may just be ourselves. Fear is often the biggest underlying obstacle that must be addressed first. Ask yourself what might be truly holding you back. Then, ask yourself if you think you really deserve to move forward. Many times this can be traced back to an old tape playing in your head that somehow you should not have it. Writing out positive affirmations to the contrary and reading them daily to yourself can help reprogram this faulty thinking. Change requires courage to manage all of the variables necessary to get where you need to go, and you may have to give up some things to get there. Decide for yourself what is most important to you.
Being honest with yourself and others, as scary as that may seem can actually bring a great sense of relief and increase your energy level. No longer are you denying your own personal truth. And, it is said that once we are able to do that, doors seem to start opening. Being assertive means asking for what you need from others, taking concrete steps to move you forward, and letting go of the perceptions others may have about it. Being assertive means saying no to people and things that do not fit with the life you want. No is a complete sentence, and you may have to say no to some things to say yes to the good stuff.
A great place to start mapping your plan is to divide your life into the following sections your career, finances, relationships, physical health, your environment, as well as the areas of your spiritual life and recreation. Then rate each area in terms of your contentment. Are you where you want to be in your career? Are your relationships satisfying? What might you be trying to ignore? Once you have determined where you would like to make changes, write down the boundaries you may need to set, such as reconfiguring how you spend your time, where you focus first, and why.
Once you have done this work, it might be helpful to find a good friend, mentor or life coach to then help you specifically map out the realistic (and wonderful!) goals you have in mind. Getting objective feedback from someone who wants the best for you can be just the encouragement and energy you need. This, along with a little bit of creativity can get to your destination. And remember, youre smarter and more resourceful than you think.