How Therapy Can Be Helpful When Faced With a Cancer Diagnosis

By Sara Moore Kerai, MA, LPC

A diagnosis of cancer can be shocking and overwhelming. Therapy clients have said that it feels like suddenly being transported to another planet or a foreign land, where they have to learn a completely new language. You may feel like you have to get a “crash course” in medical jargon and navigate a bewildering and frustrating system while your life is on the line.

So much of the narrative in our culture is about “being strong” and “fighting” or “beating” cancer valiantly that it may not leave room for feeling scared, overwhelmed, or angry. It’s also a setup for failure. If my cancer spreads or doesn’t respond to treatment, is it my fault? Have I done something wrong? Did I choose the wrong doctor? Should I have found this earlier? Or did the treatment actually fail me? All of the “shoulds” run through your mind.

Or perhaps you have completed cancer treatment and “rung the bell” in the infusion or radiation center. Your oncologist has told you to “go live your life,” but you don’t exactly feel like celebrating. Your world has been rocked, and you are still coping with uncertainty, anxiety, or even medical trauma.There are many valid reasons why you might want to talk to a psychotherapist who specializes in working with people with cancer and their caregivers. Just a few of the common themes that come up in therapy sessions are:

Coping with a mix of overwhelming feelings associated with a new diagnosis;
Coaching for communicating with your surgeon, oncologist, or others on your care team;
Discerning what “support” looks like for you at this time and shoring up your support system;
Coaching for communicating with your family, friends, and caregivers about what you need at this time;
Coping with changing family dynamics or dynamics at work;
Managing anxiety, depression, fear, and side effects of cancer treatment;
Intimacy, sexual, and body image issues;
Discerning and discussing your goals of care;
Parenting concerns;
Adjusting back to your “normal” routine after cancer treatment when nothing seems normal anymore.

Many clients initially ask how a therapist can help with these questions. Shouldn’t my friends and family be enough? Many of us feel subtle pressure to put on a brave face for our friends and family. We worry about being a burden or how they may react to what we have to say. We don’t even notice how we have to care for others in our interactions with them. In a therapy relationship, you can set aside that need to take care of others and simply voice the truth of how you are feeling. That can be a great gift. If this sounds familiar, psychotherapy can help.