Chesapeake Life Center
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Pasadena, MD 21122
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How Counseling Can Help You Face Important Anniversaries When Grieving
A man is scrolling on social media when a Facebook memory pops up of his mom at the last Thanksgiving dinner she was able to attend before she died. Suddenly he feels an intense sadness and begins to cry.
That is anniversary grief.
His sister sees the same photo. She instantly smiles and feels a wave or relief. It was a special day, but mom was going through chemotherapy and now she is no longer in pain.
That also is anniversary grief.
Anniversary grief is the intense feelings and emotions of grief surrounding the anniversary of a significant loss or traumatic event.
They’re not always sad or scary. Sometimes the nostalgia is welcoming. This is a normal reaction to grief. Like snowflakes, grief is different for each person. To cope with these inevitable anniversary moments, grievers can reach out to a grief counselor.
Grief counselors help clients prepare for the triggers before these anniversaries occur. They can guide them through loss, memories, worry, and sometimes regret that comes from the unfinished business their loved one left behind.
Grief counselors help children, individuals and families process the pain of grief. That can look like crying, sharing feelings of anger, guilt, regret and sadness. We hold a space to allow our clients to get in touch with how they are feeling. When these anniversaries impact the griever, they feel as if the world has moved on without their loved one and they also feel left behind. Many don’t have a tribe they can turn to. Grief counselors and grief support groups can be that tribe.
Grief counselors help their clients explore meaningful ways to maintain a deep connection with the deceased, and not only on anniversaries. It can be something as simple as lighting a candle.
They can also reinvent the anniversary that they struggle with so it honors their person while bringing others in to share. One client’s mom would host a family dinner every Sunday. When she died, the dinners stopped. So, they started a new dinner tradition, getting together every Sunday with their family.
It is important not to ignore anniversaries that remind people of their loved ones. Death can cause people to drift away from each other when their loved one’s traditions aren’t continued. Death can also bring people together when they work to find a way to honor their loved one in this new life without them.
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