She Doesn't Need Saving

By Andrea Proper, Doula, CBE

NOVA Birth Services

. https://www.novabirthservices.com/

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She Doesn't Need Saving

Women in labor don't need saving. They need support. There is a notion that a woman in labor needs saving from the discomfort, or lengthy time and/or pressure of labor. The truth is she does not need saving.

She needs support.

A woman in labor needs help and resources to guide her every step of the way. Sometimes that support can be in verbal cues, reassurance, love and kindness. Telling her that she's strong, powerful and amazing. Sometimes that support is physical with massage and pressure points, holding her hand, having your head placed on hers, or slowly breathing to set the pace for her to breathe in and out, assuring her that her birth rhythm is just perfect.

Women in labor need to be allowed space, to empower themselves and own their birth. And, to ask questions and make sound decisions. To be an active participant, not have things done to them.

The role of a doula is to support the mother. To be the sturdy chair in the corner that mom can sit on or hold onto. Then when she doesn't need it, to still be there to quietly hold the space.

The woman in labor does not need a superhero to come in and fix her. There is nothing to be saved from. Doulas are more like sherpas, guiding a laboring woman up the mountain. The doula can show the laboring woman some options along the way. Supportive routes when detours emerge. Ultimately the expectant mother must climb the mountain herself. It's her birth journey.

Whether she reaches the top and sees the view from the mountain peak, or turns down the mountain, it is her journey. She needs no saving. She needs support, love and reassurance. Birth, like life, is a journey. No two adventures are ever the same. We must allow each birth to unfold the way it was meant to.