Holiday Depression

By Kathi Whitten, LCSW

There is one type of depression known as “seasonal affective disorder”. People who experience this typically feel depressed during winter months. They find themselves sleeping and eating more, noticing a diminished ability to focus and concentrate, and maybe becoming isolative. This is often successfully treated with talk therapy, medication and/or “light therapy”.

But there's another form of depression often seen at this time of year, which involves the expected activities during holidays.

Most cultures/religions observe special days during winter (such as Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and New Year's Eve). These occasions are marked by certain religious ceremonies, special decorations, foods, gift-giving, the sending of cards, etc.

These rituals hold special meaning to people. Often memories from childhood or wishes to make others happy play a large role in determining how people observe them from year to year.

Yet the happiness of these traditions may be offset by tremendous stress. Sometimes people want to urgently create or re-create a particular memory or vision of how they believe it all “should” be they get lost in efforts that may overwhelm them.

For some, the anticipation of seeing people they love feel happy, entertaining friends and relatives, or giving gifts can be difficult to keep within sensible limits. Wanting to do things or give parties or gifts that are really beyond one's financial means becomes anxiety producing.

For some people, though they would be very reluctant to admit it, there is an internal pressure to out-do themselves (from year to year) in their food, decorating and gift-giving. Sometimes they may even develop a secret desire to out-do others with their decorating, cooking and gift-giving.

These holidays usually bring out the best in people, but it takes very little to want so much to be generous and giving, that it can tip to anxiety, fear, sadness, and even resentment.

What can you do? Be honest and reasonable with yourself and others. If holiday celebrations have gotten out of hand, or if you need to cut back on what you do, don't be afraid to make the changes. If you fear you may be lonely during this time, due to being away from family and friends, tell others they may include you in their celebrations. Being afraid to speak up or to do things differently won't help you enjoy your holiday and may leave you vulnerable to depression.