The client arrived smiling and looking polished. Her bright engaging smile and friendly eyes drew the therapist to her. After a time she began to talk about the reason she is there, her inner pain. She turned her eyes away as she talked about compulsively eating cakes and cookies, sneaking food at night, or sometimes just eating large amounts of healthy food.
She looked at the floor as she talked about her past, and how negatively she feels about herself and her body. She is feeling shame – about her eating behavior, about herself, about her body. This shame has taken over and she is unable to feel care for herself.
Shame…. It is the most difficult and painful emotion to bear and leads to a life of hiding, of anxiety, secrets, and hurtful life choices. Shame becomes embodied us, in other words, the feeling and experience take over. Often, people identify with the thoughts “I am bad”, “less”, “dirty”, “worthless”, etc… Shame becomes the one feeling that a person feels actually inhabited or taken over by.
Shame comes from experiences that “gut” our sense of self such as messages of inferiority and worthlessness, childhood abuse and neglect, sexual abuse, family addictions, etc… Children – being more suggestible – are more vulnerable to a shamed sense of self, though adult onset shame occurs as well. The defenses we use to manage shame, such as binge-eating, often insure the creation of more shame.
To deal with shame we might create a false self—like my client, polished, friendly and engaging, but inside feeling sad and worthless. A “looking good”, façade is created. Loss of connection between our inside self and our outside self can lead to problems with physical and mental health.
What will help? Hypnosis allows us to go to the core of the shame, illuminate it, bring self love and compassion and ultimately heal it. Hypnosis allows us to change the energy around the memory that created the original shame. Without shame the “real self” comes to light. The false persona can be released along with weight and addiction.
The Trim-life hypnosis program offers the healing factors of hypnosis in a supportive group. Seeing others struggling with similar challenges brings unity, and a release of shame, in knowing we are not alone. Support gives hope, courage and motivation to move forward on our journey.