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The following article was published in Your Health Magazine. Our mission is to empower people to live healthier.
Terry Douglas, Maryland Elder Law Attorney
Mediation Divorce With Dignity
Douglas Law Office

Mediation Divorce With Dignity

Whenever there was a dispute amongst family members, we talked about it, we were heard, and it was settled. We had a village to tap into. They were our family, friends and neighbors.

As our lifestyles changed, we lost that family support and connection.

Today, when there is a dispute among family members, the first call is usually to a lawyer. That cost time and money and that process can create stress and long-term resentment.

On the other hand, mediation is an alternative dispute resolution. It is faster than litigation, more cost-effective, and there's less bitterness between the parties. With mediation, one can divorce with dignity.

Let's look at Rose and Jack for example. They have been married for 12 years and have three young children Peter, Paul, and Mary. Last year, Jack lost his job and he's been trying to get paid work. Rose works part-time, and they have one car. It's been a struggle to feed their children, pay the utilities, and fill the gas tank.

The financial hardship put a strain on their marriage. Rose and Jack decided that their marriage is over, and it's time to get a divorce. Both of them want the children.

Rose went to see a divorce lawyer. The initial fee was $300. The attorney would accept the case once Rose paid a $10,000 retainer (deposit).

In the meantime, Jack was hired for full-time work, and he purchased a used car. Jack's lawyer requested an advance of $7,500.00. Jack didn't want to spend that amount of money for an attorney, nor did he want the details of his marriage disclosed in a public court hearing.

Subsequently, Jack heard about divorce mediation. As a result, Rose and Jack met with a third party mediator for five weekly sessions (at two hours per session). For the first time in years, Rose and Jack spoke and listened to each other in the best interests of their children. They shared information about their income, expenses, and the education, health care, and religious preferences for their children. They agreed where the children would live and how they would both be involved with the parenting. The best part of this is that this was “their” separation agreement.

Divorce in court is a lengthy process, and the parents lose control. Had Rose and Jack battled this in open court, a judge (a stranger) would have made all the decisions regarding their children and their property. There's nothing wrong with lawyers, it's just sometimes, mediation may be more suitable than costly litigation.

In our example, mediation helped rebuild the lives of this couple. Rose and Jack are respectful of each other, both of them are involved with the upbringing of their children, and it didn't cost tens of thousands of dollars or a family feud.

Going to court is always an option. If you are going through a divorce, do some research before you decide whether mediation is right for you.

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