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David Trautmann, LCSW
Finding Happiness In Relationships
New Spirit Therapy

Finding Happiness In Relationships

Finding Happiness In Relationships

Many people have so much angst and drama over relationships and marriage.  But really, one can save themselves a lot of grief and distress by conscientiously following a few simple rules:

First, prepare for a relationship.  Qualities of character are most important in worthwhile relationships. Developing virtues, skills and integrity leads to success. Clarity about life goals and achieving them indicates readiness for lasting relationships.  This includes having clear ideas about what you want and being sure your partner shares that ideal.

Next, carefully select a prospect for trustworthiness, healthy habits, good behavior and reliability.  This requires getting to know them very well, over time.

Most importantly, check for loyalty and commitment – in yourself, too. Commitment and character are foundations for trust, which builds lasting relationships, and is required for true closeness, real intimacy, personal and family progress, and happiness.

In seeking that ideal relationship, one should draw on one’s “higher power”.  Consult parents for guidance and approval.  Wise input could prevent bad misjudgments and approval could bestow benefits of harmonious family relationships.

Mutual commitment should be established before sexual relations, to avoid complications without the foundation to sustain the weight of loyalty to another, or to children that may result.

One’s purpose in relationships should be to give love, and should not be contingent on getting love.

Commitment to each other should be explicit, specific, and mutually agreed and regarded as sacred, then formalized and made legal for the protection of all parties.

The importance and romance of weddings shouldn’t overtake the importance of marriage itself, where unity and collaboration are all-important, nor should it burden the couple with debt.

Marriages should be characterized by unity and agreement. One should dedicate oneself to the other’s well-being, and through communication freely express views, feelings and opinions with kindness, listen to the other with empathy, and make decisions collectively and equally.

In modern relationships, both partners must be equal.  But as a mother, the woman has a need and right to support. Relationships should be based on acceptance, not on efforts to change the other.

Ultimately, the purpose of marriage is not only for happiness and mutual assistance, but establishing a stable and loving family, which is the optimal environment for children. This noble aspiration can greatly enrich lives, bringing joy and happiness.

Counseling can greatly help along the way, whether it’s with one individual or couples, before marriage or after. It can save time, money and heartache down the road. The perspective and input of a professional with experience and expertise brings benefits and better chance for a happy life.

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