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The following article was published in Your Health Magazine. Our mission is to empower people to live healthier.
Lynn L. West, PhDc, BCETS, LCPC
Conscious Parenting
Lynn L. West & Associates, LLC

Conscious Parenting

According to scientific research, humans only think consciously, using evidence based on facts and reasoning, 5% of the time. 95% of the time we dialogue with anyone, what is being exchanged is an automatic response from their unconscious mind. Conscious parenting means staying focused 100% in the present, identifying what the problem is that you are dealing with and what the facts are, and asking questions that will lead to a reasoned response.

Here’s how it works. Cody is 19 years old. He has always struggled in school with his academic progress. As his high school curriculum became increasing challenging, Cody began struggling to maintain his grades. Particularly problematic were subjects such as science, algebra, and geometry which he needs to pass to graduate. Cody would tell his teachers and his parents that he did not understand what he was doing. This was a conscious expression on his part. His parents and teachers did not understand what Cody meant, or have an answer for him. So instead of trying to find out why he did not understand he would get “a talking to”. As Cody struggled with his class work, his teachers struggled with Cody. Cody began to misbehave more often, which increased the school staff’s attention and relative pressure. He also became more interpersonally defiant, reactive, and difficult or impossible at home. He started staying out all night and associating with sketchy peers. He wants to drop out of school.

Conscious parenting involves identifying the facts underlying the problems. Unconscious thinking involves expecting Cody to be able to do the academic work without looking at his psychoeducational testing results from 2009 and using it to inform his curriculum development and studies.

Cody’s testing results were an IQ score, calculated from the sum of a battery of verbal and nonverbal/performance tests. The cognitive areas assessed in his IQ evaluation include verbal comprehension, perceptual reasoning, working memory, and processing speed (how fast someone can hear spoken language and process every word). If someone falls below the 16% range, then they are not able to listen to language spoken at the normal rate of speech which is 150 wpm. Cody’s score falls in the 1% range.

During psychological testing, the examiner does not speak more slowly. So the answers Cody gave reflect incomplete understanding. Working memory is the ability to focus on and attend to what is being said or read, when there is distraction or competition for attention. Cody’s score on working memory falls in the 1% range. Can he do algebra and geometric calculations? Not without cuing or a guide.

Cody’s math teacher’s opinion is, “Cody can do the work to pass in mathematics;” however, she cannot explain what his test scores mean and what she would need to do to make it work for him. But it’s hard for people to wrap their head around and understand that what people can do or not do is a function of how well their brain works.

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