What Does Cancer Do to a Family?

By Deborah Shugars, LCSW

Able Counseling Services

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What Does Cancer Do to a Family?

Just the word “cancer” scares most people and with good cause. When a family member has cancer, it affects everyone in the family.

When I lived in Maine, I used my vacation time from my regular job to volunteer as a counselor at a camp called Camp Sunshine. It is a camp for children with life threatening diseases, with cancer as the number one reason they were there.

The whole family attends the camp for a whole week as a respite from the devastation cancer had on their family; food and lodging are free of charge and paid entirely by sponsors and grants. The parents and children all stay together as a family to have fun.

A normal day at Camp Sunshine is anything but normal; freedom from endless trips to doctor appointments, constant worrying about medical bills, finances, and whether to go to work and earn money (which was tied to whether they had medical insurance) or stay home with their sick child.

Cancer raises havoc on the whole family system. The siblings of the child with cancer often start having behavior problems because so much of the family attention and finances go toward dealing with the sick child. The siblings will often resent the sick child, which then causes guilty feelings for having the resentment.

The parents can start having marital problems because of the stress and the marriage can breakdown. Anticipatory grief affects the whole family, including extended family and friends, which means the grieving starts before the end of the child's life. The child who is suffering with the illness often worries about everyone else in the family.

Camp Sunshine offers medical staff for chemotherapy, counseling, and group discussions for parents, all available onsite. The volunteer staff runs daytime programs for the entire family including boating, swimming, archery, games on the beach, an overnight camping trip, and even a talent show on the last night with campers performing for the whole family.

All of the children are different age groups regardless of whether they were sick or not. The adults have an opportunity to be couples again and have fun with each other because the children are all entertained with their own groups during the daytime. Everyone convenes in the dining hall at night for food and entertainment.

Camp Sunshine makes it possible to put aside normal lives for a week of fun and good memories.